Monday, October 26, 1998
dan boujoulian
October 26, 1998
COM 215 A - Storytelling
Alex and Chris (Alexandra and Christopher) are both straight. They are both very gay friendly, to the extreme when they can comfortably flirt with others of the same sex. Alex has been eyeing Chris all night and vice-versa.
Here the problem lies: Neither have gathered the courage to stand up and go talk to a member of the opposite sex in the gay club.
The obvious reason;
ìSheís not into guys, man.î Chris remarks as he accepts the gift of alcohol from his good friend, Jim.
ìGirl, you donít know what you are talking about. Look at the woman. Sheís getting stared at by a roomful of dykes and sheís not responding to any of them.î Jeff walks up to the table.
ìWhereís your drink?î
ìI gave it to hetero-boy,î Jims says, trying not to laugh.
ìHey, Iím a fag. Iím just bad at it!î Chris retorts. The three of them laugh.
ìChris has been eyeing that peice of ass all night. Watching her SWAY on the dance floor as he sits here having convulsions, wishing sheíd look this way again.î
ìShe doesnít dig on guys...î
ìI donít know about that,î Jeff says. ìThere are three kinds of people that come here. First, youíve got your definate queers. Half of these boys treat this place like a fucking meat market, the other ones come because itís a safe haven without the politics of the outside world. Second, you have your straight women who come to dance without being gawked at by men. If they only knew the amount of women gawking at them, they would probably go back to the regular club. Finally, youíve got your type. Straight men who come her to pick up the straight women. Sad individuals, indeed. They WANT to go home with a woman, but theyíve got no style. Theyíre way too horny and drunk as the night goes, which is why they wake up next to a queer like me, remembering nothing.î
ìFuck you,î Chris says as he gulps the last bit of alcohol. ìWhich one is she?î
Jeff looks at him with an annoyed face, ìSheís STRAIGHT!!!! Go forth and flirt, my boy.î
ìThe only thing Iím going forth for, is a tall Guinness.î
Jeff and Jim look at each other and burst out laughing. ìGuinness?î they both ask.
Jim adds, ìGuinness and Gay may both start with G, but you wonít find that manly Irish drink here, hetero-boy.î
ìThen I very well may die trying.î He stands up, he even takes the now empty glass back to the bartender.
ìThank you, sweetheart! What can I get for you?î
ìI heard a nasty rumor that there is no Guinness in this establishment.î
ìYou heard correctly. Iím sorry. Weíve got a wide assortment of Fu-Fu drinks...î
Chris laughs. ìFu-Fu drinks? Does that mean Iíll end up with one of your ex-boyfriends before the nights end?î
ìNow thereís a fate worse then death,î the bartender says, laughing. ìHere, try this, on the house.î
ìDo I spy a Killians?î
ìYou do.î
ìSa-Weet! Iíll be back. Thanks.î
ìCome back more often... I hate to see you leave, but I LOVE to watch you go.î
ìYouíre terrible.î He heads back to the table with his newly acquired brew. ìWhat are you two laughing at?î
ìJeff was being hilarious last night. Tell him.î
ìNo, you tell him.î
ìOkay, well Iím in bed, I can hear him enter the room. The sheets rub against my skin as Jeff slowly creeps up from the foot of the bed. An unzipping is heard. To this, I remark, ëOh, I think I am no where near ready to have you rampaging to glory down there.í Jeff grabs me, throws me around and screams, ìHelp! Call 911!!! Iím stuck inside my boyfriend, again!íî
to be continued.
October 26, 1998
COM 215 A - Storytelling
Alex and Chris (Alexandra and Christopher) are both straight. They are both very gay friendly, to the extreme when they can comfortably flirt with others of the same sex. Alex has been eyeing Chris all night and vice-versa.
Here the problem lies: Neither have gathered the courage to stand up and go talk to a member of the opposite sex in the gay club.
The obvious reason;
ìSheís not into guys, man.î Chris remarks as he accepts the gift of alcohol from his good friend, Jim.
ìGirl, you donít know what you are talking about. Look at the woman. Sheís getting stared at by a roomful of dykes and sheís not responding to any of them.î Jeff walks up to the table.
ìWhereís your drink?î
ìI gave it to hetero-boy,î Jims says, trying not to laugh.
ìHey, Iím a fag. Iím just bad at it!î Chris retorts. The three of them laugh.
ìChris has been eyeing that peice of ass all night. Watching her SWAY on the dance floor as he sits here having convulsions, wishing sheíd look this way again.î
ìShe doesnít dig on guys...î
ìI donít know about that,î Jeff says. ìThere are three kinds of people that come here. First, youíve got your definate queers. Half of these boys treat this place like a fucking meat market, the other ones come because itís a safe haven without the politics of the outside world. Second, you have your straight women who come to dance without being gawked at by men. If they only knew the amount of women gawking at them, they would probably go back to the regular club. Finally, youíve got your type. Straight men who come her to pick up the straight women. Sad individuals, indeed. They WANT to go home with a woman, but theyíve got no style. Theyíre way too horny and drunk as the night goes, which is why they wake up next to a queer like me, remembering nothing.î
ìFuck you,î Chris says as he gulps the last bit of alcohol. ìWhich one is she?î
Jeff looks at him with an annoyed face, ìSheís STRAIGHT!!!! Go forth and flirt, my boy.î
ìThe only thing Iím going forth for, is a tall Guinness.î
Jeff and Jim look at each other and burst out laughing. ìGuinness?î they both ask.
Jim adds, ìGuinness and Gay may both start with G, but you wonít find that manly Irish drink here, hetero-boy.î
ìThen I very well may die trying.î He stands up, he even takes the now empty glass back to the bartender.
ìThank you, sweetheart! What can I get for you?î
ìI heard a nasty rumor that there is no Guinness in this establishment.î
ìYou heard correctly. Iím sorry. Weíve got a wide assortment of Fu-Fu drinks...î
Chris laughs. ìFu-Fu drinks? Does that mean Iíll end up with one of your ex-boyfriends before the nights end?î
ìNow thereís a fate worse then death,î the bartender says, laughing. ìHere, try this, on the house.î
ìDo I spy a Killians?î
ìYou do.î
ìSa-Weet! Iíll be back. Thanks.î
ìCome back more often... I hate to see you leave, but I LOVE to watch you go.î
ìYouíre terrible.î He heads back to the table with his newly acquired brew. ìWhat are you two laughing at?î
ìJeff was being hilarious last night. Tell him.î
ìNo, you tell him.î
ìOkay, well Iím in bed, I can hear him enter the room. The sheets rub against my skin as Jeff slowly creeps up from the foot of the bed. An unzipping is heard. To this, I remark, ëOh, I think I am no where near ready to have you rampaging to glory down there.í Jeff grabs me, throws me around and screams, ìHelp! Call 911!!! Iím stuck inside my boyfriend, again!íî
to be continued.
