Thursday, December 17, 1998
Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned To Watch A Film And Respect Stanley Kubrick
Dan Boujoulian
Dr. Strangelove:
Or How I Learned To Watch A Film And Respect Stanley Kubrick
17 December, 1998
CFV 370
"Confront a man in his office, with a nuclear alarm, and you have a documentary. If the news reaches him in his living room, you have a drama. If it catches him in the lavoratory, the result is comedy." comments Stanley Kubrick. Dr. Strangelove does not stop there. It only begins as a rather calm film in all three locations it takes place in. It would seem like the typical, machine humming, printout monitoring, routine day. By it's conclusion, some audience members are rooting for destruction to come, this satire of our way of life reaches beyond what is plausible and gives us Kubrick's vision on the absurdity of warfare. It is done so well, that it is delightful to sit through repeatedly. The same premise, done seriously, is almost painful to sit and watch. Comedy can infiltrate the mind's defense mechanism and take it by surprise. In self-protection, we have learned to shut imitation of tragedy out of our thoughts. Strangelove sounds an alert that would startle people into response and even resistance to such a fate.
Red Alert , the book the film was based on was all to serious, however after some rewrites, the plot remains the same, but the delivery takes another step. Try to maintain the same interest in a film done the very same year,1964, on the very same topic; Fail Safe. Lemut's serious version of the nuclear situation just doesn't work as well. It is absurd in it's own right by having the President of the United States drop bombs on New York in order to show Russia we are sorry for attacking them. At least when Strangelove is absurd, it is poking fun at the establishment and saying "look at these idiots running things, they are out there and have powerful weapons!" It's not Fail Safe's fault that it... fails to be interesting, war in film isn't exactly easy to do, Kubrick simply has the knack to tackle the subject well. One who objects to that statement should view Paths of Glory or Full Metal Jacket.
The original intent for adapting Strangelove was to be a serious film. After toying with the script, Kubrick found comical ideas kept entering his mind and finally decided "the things you laugh at most are really the heart of the paradoxical postures that make a nuclear war possible."
Kubrick notes, "after a month...I began to realize that all the things I was throwing out were the things which were the most truthful. After all, what could be more absurd than the idea of two mega-powers willing to wipe out all human life because of an accident, spiced up by political differences that will seem as meaningless to people in a hundred years from now as the theological differences of the Middle Ages appear to us today?"
For as long as there has been people at war, there have been those who attempt to deter war from happening, usually through fear. The fear may be simply by the monstrosity of the opponent, or it may come in the form of possible retaliation. After spending seven years as Secretary of Defense, Robert McNamara noted, "I do not believe we can avoid serious and unacceptable risk of nuclear war until we recognize...that nuclear weapons serve no military purpose whatsoever. They are totally useless--except only to deter one's opponent from using them." Judging by the outcome of Strangelove, Kubrick must believe nuclear weapons can serve only the purpose of destruction of everything.
Strangelove shows us our bombers maintaining their fail safe positions, keeping within range to be sent to whichever sector they are responsible for. The government is fully aware of the Russian threat. They must have all war capabilities on hand since there will be insufficient time to redeploy their forces and to mobilize their resources as in past wars. The nuclear powers must, therefore, operate on the assumption of a permanent imminence of war, and under the logic of deterrence, must be constantly ready to deter, and if necessary, strike the potential aggressor in order to limit their own damage. These high levels of readiness and war preparedness are mandated for purposes of signaling intent, for demonstrating capabilities and communicating threats and sanctions.
Kubrick notes "I started out being completely unfamiliar with any of the professional literature in the field of nuclear deterrence. I was at first very impressed with how subtle some of the work was -- at least so it seemed starting out with just a primitive concern for survival and a total lack of any ideas of my own. Gradually I became aware of the almost wholly paradoxical nature of deterrence or as it has been described, the Delicate Balance of Terror. If you are weak, you may invite a first strike. If you are becoming too strong, you may provoke a pre-emptive strike. If you try to maintain the delicate balance, it's almost impossible to do so mainly because secrecy prevents you from knowing what the other side is doing, and vice versa, ad infinitum . . ." (Walker)
During the cold war there was little question in the West regarding Soviet aggressive behavior and intent. Belligerent, declaratory Soviet policy and threatening behavior, which culminated in the Cuban missile crisis, did little to change Western views. The strategic community in the West broadly agreed that Soviet strategic doctrine and policy was highly aggressive and offensive, and such agreement included the possibility of a preemptive Soviet nuclear strike under certain conditions. Strategists were persuaded that Soviet military and political leaders believed nuclear war was still fightable and winnable. (Kolkowicz)
Under the Reagan administration, there was greater emphasis on providing nuclear options during a protracted war. Under these guidelines, United States nuclear capabilities "must prevail even under the conditions of a prolonged war" and be able to "force the Soviet Union to seek earliest termination of hostilities on terms favorable to the United States."
"Heroic literature since the time of Homer and earlier has featured the theme of war. War easily engages the passions of writers...Portrayals of war can of course raise the desire for peace." (Lenz) In Dr. Strangelove, we witness officials attempting to control or contain the outcome of things created by man. This is in no way a new theme, one must only look as far as Mary Shelley's Frankenstein to see a human being trying to control their technology/creation. Ambassador de Sadesky and Strangelove explain the purpose of the Doomsday Machine as ultimate deterrent, one designed as an "irrevocable decision-making process that rules out human meddling."
Dr. Strangelove takes the fear of conspiracy, the psychological insecurities of a man, the fanatical devotion to a way of life, and turns them inside out. Strangelove demolishes the military establishment, the government, and the "mad scientist" clichÈ of science fiction and the mentality that makes nuclear war possible. Strangelove delves into the obsessive, religious, erotic love of the power of death wielded by the bomb. General Ripper has problems, and none of them include the B-52 Bombers heading towards Russia. Unbeknownst to him, if any one of these detonates, a doomsday machine would ruin life everywhere.
Even if he did know of the fate, it is doubtful the man would care, after all a popular phrase of the 60s was "Better dead than Red." All the while, ranting about the sanctity of our bodily fluids in an Air Force base that advertises "Peace Is Our Profession." But come on, we can't condemn the whole program because of a single slip-up, right? Sometimes, psycho's slip through. One post-war reaction was to see in the war-time results the suggestion that an officer needed a certain kind of personality that was more suited to leadership than others. Personality traits were also distinguished from leadership behavior. They confirmed that good leaders should be aggressive, yet calm, clear thinkers, flexible, not too arrogant, yet able to make speedy decisions. (Watson) Looking at personality helped the armed forces choose who should have access to troops and/or weapons. Not all soldiers have access to nuclear weapons and many nuclear weapons cannot be fired by one man. Screening amounts to ensuring that unstable persons do not get their hands on weapons that can be fired by single individual.
The satire of nuclear folly appeals to the human need to play out the fear or total destruction. The process of the escalation of nuclear tensions beautifully dramatizes the process of schismogenesis. Schismogenesis is anthropologist Gregory Bateson's term to describe the interchanges that accelerate the differences between people. He originally used the concept to apply to the way which one person's boasting spurs another's and vice versa, until hostility mounts and the relationship breaks down. (Bateson)
"It is not a thing a sane man would do. The Doomsday Machine is designed to trigger itself automatically." explains Ambassador de Sadeski. Unfortunately, the Russians failed to make the use of the machine public information. Dr. Strangelove objects, "The whole point of the Doomsday Machine is lost if you keep it a secret!" The whole point is also lost if any human being can defuse it, and thus it is totally beyond human control.
One very important element in comedy is interesting characters. Strangelove is full of them. Sellers doing Mandrake beside Ripper is highly entertaining. You can see him becoming fearful while on the couch with Ripper closing in on him. Mandrake plays off of Ripper's insanity, delving for information regarding the origins of the flouridation theory Ripper has devised. "Good GOD!" in reaction to Ripper's comment of the flouridation of "ice cream, Mandrake.. children's ice cream!"
Dr. Strangelove reaches his pinnacle moment in the conclusion of the film. His excitement races with the prospect of nuclear winter. The slaughter of animals in the mine shafts for food. Becoming so aroused near the end that he regains his ability to walk. "Mein Fuhrer, I can WALK!"
Dr. Strangelove works so well because for all the absurdity of the characters, they are surrounded by a realism which makes their situation seem very rational even if they are not. Caught in the middle of all this militial madness, is President Muffley. This low-key, serious man has what may be some of the funniest moments in the film. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the war room!" "Now then, Dimitri, you know we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb....the BOMB, Dimitri.... The hydrogen bomb." The President is sanity. All around him is chaos
Sellers is amazing. His three roles in the film can only make you admire the man's diversity. His fourth role, that of Major "King" Kong aboard the bomber was given to Slim Pickens who gave it his usual cowboy redneck touch
Buck Turgidson is first seen when the news of the situation reachs him via his playmate of the month. (Literally, she is the centerfold in the nudie magazine one of the pilots on the Leper Colony bomber is reading.) He is a different sort of military lunatic. His mania is not some sort of personal psychosis, but an obsession with machinery and statiscs of nuclear war. Clutching such books as "World Targets in Megadeaths" He contorts his body in a way that so few can do. When he swings his arms explaing how well Kong can fly a B-52 you see him race with excitement until he realizes what he is saying means. He is also excited with the prospect of the annihilation of the monogamous sexual relationship with the advent of the 10-to-1 female-to-male ratio in post war mine shafts. As Strangelove is explaining the Doomsday Machine, Buck exclaims, "Gee! I wish we had one of them Doomsday Machines."
Ripper is the cause of everything. All this madness ensues because of his observation of a loss of "purity of essence." Characters like Jack. D. Ripper are not exactly realistic, bu he surely strikes a chord in anyone who has ever been appalled or amused by fanatical American anti-communism. We both laugh and shudder at his observation of the post war conspiracy of flouridation. Laughing at the absurdity of his mania, and shuddering because somewhere we've read about some real-life group that has said something along similar lines.
Pure humor and characterization are not the only areas this film excels in. The locations bring about the entire premise of the film. Three separate locations, normally extensive in their way of working together are brought down by the lack of communication. Ripper cuts off all communication to and from the base. Mandrake must overcome this to get the recall codes to the President. The President can not reach the base without force, and he cannot talk to the bombers without the code. Finally, after all but one of the bombers has been called back, the mechanical failure caused by the Russian counter attacks take out the communication receiver on the bomber. The pilots on board can only assume they are to continue en route to the bombing. Which they do at the same moment Strangelove is reassuring the President that computers are better equipped than mere mortals to make the difficult decision of who goes into the mine shafts and who stays behind.
Even the lighting brought a feeling of realism into the absurdity. The secret of lighting in the film was basically, to not light it. Photo-floods were used in any actual on camera lamps. The bomber was lit where it would normally be lit from in a real one. Only Dr. Strangelove and General Ripper were given mood lighting. Ripper lit from underneath showed you a man who has sunken into disarray. Dr. Strangelove was typically lit from the side, not that you really notice when you're laughing at everything he says. Strangelove is isolated in close-up and medium shots, enveloped by darkness and patterns of light from the Big Board; at first, he is separated from the rational processes of the table, only to be sought out like an alter ego once madness breaks through the illusions of formal order.
While the narrative logic of Strangelove may indicate that the world goes up in mushroom clouds because of one general's madness or as a result of sexual malfunctions, it's thematic texture says that there is more, in fact, its sexual allusion is only one of several conceptual levels that are interconnected and hold the fictional world together. So essential is communication for modern diplomacy and warfare that when it breaks down it is quite literally the end of the world.
Bibliography
Bateson, Gregory, Steps to an Ecology of Mind: A Revolutionary Approach to Man's Understanding of Himself, New York: Ballentine books, 1972
Ciment, Michel, Kubrick, New York: Holt, Rinehart and WInston, 1980
De Vries, Daniel, The Films of Stanley Kubrick, Grand Rapids,MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1973
Kolkowicz, Roman, The Logic of Nuclear Terror, Boston: Allen & Unwin, 1987
Lenz, Millicent, Nuclear Age Literature For Youth, Chicago: American Library Association, 1990
Nelson, Thomas, Kubrick: Inside a Film Artist's Maze, Bloomington, Indiana University Press, 1982
Walker, Alexander, Stanley Kubrick Directs, New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, Inc, 1971
Watson, Peter, War On The Mind: The Military Users and Abuses of Psychology, New York:, Basic Books, Inc. 1978
Dr. Strangelove:
Or How I Learned To Watch A Film And Respect Stanley Kubrick
17 December, 1998
CFV 370
"Confront a man in his office, with a nuclear alarm, and you have a documentary. If the news reaches him in his living room, you have a drama. If it catches him in the lavoratory, the result is comedy." comments Stanley Kubrick. Dr. Strangelove does not stop there. It only begins as a rather calm film in all three locations it takes place in. It would seem like the typical, machine humming, printout monitoring, routine day. By it's conclusion, some audience members are rooting for destruction to come, this satire of our way of life reaches beyond what is plausible and gives us Kubrick's vision on the absurdity of warfare. It is done so well, that it is delightful to sit through repeatedly. The same premise, done seriously, is almost painful to sit and watch. Comedy can infiltrate the mind's defense mechanism and take it by surprise. In self-protection, we have learned to shut imitation of tragedy out of our thoughts. Strangelove sounds an alert that would startle people into response and even resistance to such a fate.
Red Alert , the book the film was based on was all to serious, however after some rewrites, the plot remains the same, but the delivery takes another step. Try to maintain the same interest in a film done the very same year,1964, on the very same topic; Fail Safe. Lemut's serious version of the nuclear situation just doesn't work as well. It is absurd in it's own right by having the President of the United States drop bombs on New York in order to show Russia we are sorry for attacking them. At least when Strangelove is absurd, it is poking fun at the establishment and saying "look at these idiots running things, they are out there and have powerful weapons!" It's not Fail Safe's fault that it... fails to be interesting, war in film isn't exactly easy to do, Kubrick simply has the knack to tackle the subject well. One who objects to that statement should view Paths of Glory or Full Metal Jacket.
The original intent for adapting Strangelove was to be a serious film. After toying with the script, Kubrick found comical ideas kept entering his mind and finally decided "the things you laugh at most are really the heart of the paradoxical postures that make a nuclear war possible."
Kubrick notes, "after a month...I began to realize that all the things I was throwing out were the things which were the most truthful. After all, what could be more absurd than the idea of two mega-powers willing to wipe out all human life because of an accident, spiced up by political differences that will seem as meaningless to people in a hundred years from now as the theological differences of the Middle Ages appear to us today?"
For as long as there has been people at war, there have been those who attempt to deter war from happening, usually through fear. The fear may be simply by the monstrosity of the opponent, or it may come in the form of possible retaliation. After spending seven years as Secretary of Defense, Robert McNamara noted, "I do not believe we can avoid serious and unacceptable risk of nuclear war until we recognize...that nuclear weapons serve no military purpose whatsoever. They are totally useless--except only to deter one's opponent from using them." Judging by the outcome of Strangelove, Kubrick must believe nuclear weapons can serve only the purpose of destruction of everything.
Strangelove shows us our bombers maintaining their fail safe positions, keeping within range to be sent to whichever sector they are responsible for. The government is fully aware of the Russian threat. They must have all war capabilities on hand since there will be insufficient time to redeploy their forces and to mobilize their resources as in past wars. The nuclear powers must, therefore, operate on the assumption of a permanent imminence of war, and under the logic of deterrence, must be constantly ready to deter, and if necessary, strike the potential aggressor in order to limit their own damage. These high levels of readiness and war preparedness are mandated for purposes of signaling intent, for demonstrating capabilities and communicating threats and sanctions.
Kubrick notes "I started out being completely unfamiliar with any of the professional literature in the field of nuclear deterrence. I was at first very impressed with how subtle some of the work was -- at least so it seemed starting out with just a primitive concern for survival and a total lack of any ideas of my own. Gradually I became aware of the almost wholly paradoxical nature of deterrence or as it has been described, the Delicate Balance of Terror. If you are weak, you may invite a first strike. If you are becoming too strong, you may provoke a pre-emptive strike. If you try to maintain the delicate balance, it's almost impossible to do so mainly because secrecy prevents you from knowing what the other side is doing, and vice versa, ad infinitum . . ." (Walker)
During the cold war there was little question in the West regarding Soviet aggressive behavior and intent. Belligerent, declaratory Soviet policy and threatening behavior, which culminated in the Cuban missile crisis, did little to change Western views. The strategic community in the West broadly agreed that Soviet strategic doctrine and policy was highly aggressive and offensive, and such agreement included the possibility of a preemptive Soviet nuclear strike under certain conditions. Strategists were persuaded that Soviet military and political leaders believed nuclear war was still fightable and winnable. (Kolkowicz)
Under the Reagan administration, there was greater emphasis on providing nuclear options during a protracted war. Under these guidelines, United States nuclear capabilities "must prevail even under the conditions of a prolonged war" and be able to "force the Soviet Union to seek earliest termination of hostilities on terms favorable to the United States."
"Heroic literature since the time of Homer and earlier has featured the theme of war. War easily engages the passions of writers...Portrayals of war can of course raise the desire for peace." (Lenz) In Dr. Strangelove, we witness officials attempting to control or contain the outcome of things created by man. This is in no way a new theme, one must only look as far as Mary Shelley's Frankenstein to see a human being trying to control their technology/creation. Ambassador de Sadesky and Strangelove explain the purpose of the Doomsday Machine as ultimate deterrent, one designed as an "irrevocable decision-making process that rules out human meddling."
Dr. Strangelove takes the fear of conspiracy, the psychological insecurities of a man, the fanatical devotion to a way of life, and turns them inside out. Strangelove demolishes the military establishment, the government, and the "mad scientist" clichÈ of science fiction and the mentality that makes nuclear war possible. Strangelove delves into the obsessive, religious, erotic love of the power of death wielded by the bomb. General Ripper has problems, and none of them include the B-52 Bombers heading towards Russia. Unbeknownst to him, if any one of these detonates, a doomsday machine would ruin life everywhere.
Even if he did know of the fate, it is doubtful the man would care, after all a popular phrase of the 60s was "Better dead than Red." All the while, ranting about the sanctity of our bodily fluids in an Air Force base that advertises "Peace Is Our Profession." But come on, we can't condemn the whole program because of a single slip-up, right? Sometimes, psycho's slip through. One post-war reaction was to see in the war-time results the suggestion that an officer needed a certain kind of personality that was more suited to leadership than others. Personality traits were also distinguished from leadership behavior. They confirmed that good leaders should be aggressive, yet calm, clear thinkers, flexible, not too arrogant, yet able to make speedy decisions. (Watson) Looking at personality helped the armed forces choose who should have access to troops and/or weapons. Not all soldiers have access to nuclear weapons and many nuclear weapons cannot be fired by one man. Screening amounts to ensuring that unstable persons do not get their hands on weapons that can be fired by single individual.
The satire of nuclear folly appeals to the human need to play out the fear or total destruction. The process of the escalation of nuclear tensions beautifully dramatizes the process of schismogenesis. Schismogenesis is anthropologist Gregory Bateson's term to describe the interchanges that accelerate the differences between people. He originally used the concept to apply to the way which one person's boasting spurs another's and vice versa, until hostility mounts and the relationship breaks down. (Bateson)
"It is not a thing a sane man would do. The Doomsday Machine is designed to trigger itself automatically." explains Ambassador de Sadeski. Unfortunately, the Russians failed to make the use of the machine public information. Dr. Strangelove objects, "The whole point of the Doomsday Machine is lost if you keep it a secret!" The whole point is also lost if any human being can defuse it, and thus it is totally beyond human control.
One very important element in comedy is interesting characters. Strangelove is full of them. Sellers doing Mandrake beside Ripper is highly entertaining. You can see him becoming fearful while on the couch with Ripper closing in on him. Mandrake plays off of Ripper's insanity, delving for information regarding the origins of the flouridation theory Ripper has devised. "Good GOD!" in reaction to Ripper's comment of the flouridation of "ice cream, Mandrake.. children's ice cream!"
Dr. Strangelove reaches his pinnacle moment in the conclusion of the film. His excitement races with the prospect of nuclear winter. The slaughter of animals in the mine shafts for food. Becoming so aroused near the end that he regains his ability to walk. "Mein Fuhrer, I can WALK!"
Dr. Strangelove works so well because for all the absurdity of the characters, they are surrounded by a realism which makes their situation seem very rational even if they are not. Caught in the middle of all this militial madness, is President Muffley. This low-key, serious man has what may be some of the funniest moments in the film. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the war room!" "Now then, Dimitri, you know we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb....the BOMB, Dimitri.... The hydrogen bomb." The President is sanity. All around him is chaos
Sellers is amazing. His three roles in the film can only make you admire the man's diversity. His fourth role, that of Major "King" Kong aboard the bomber was given to Slim Pickens who gave it his usual cowboy redneck touch
Buck Turgidson is first seen when the news of the situation reachs him via his playmate of the month. (Literally, she is the centerfold in the nudie magazine one of the pilots on the Leper Colony bomber is reading.) He is a different sort of military lunatic. His mania is not some sort of personal psychosis, but an obsession with machinery and statiscs of nuclear war. Clutching such books as "World Targets in Megadeaths" He contorts his body in a way that so few can do. When he swings his arms explaing how well Kong can fly a B-52 you see him race with excitement until he realizes what he is saying means. He is also excited with the prospect of the annihilation of the monogamous sexual relationship with the advent of the 10-to-1 female-to-male ratio in post war mine shafts. As Strangelove is explaining the Doomsday Machine, Buck exclaims, "Gee! I wish we had one of them Doomsday Machines."
Ripper is the cause of everything. All this madness ensues because of his observation of a loss of "purity of essence." Characters like Jack. D. Ripper are not exactly realistic, bu he surely strikes a chord in anyone who has ever been appalled or amused by fanatical American anti-communism. We both laugh and shudder at his observation of the post war conspiracy of flouridation. Laughing at the absurdity of his mania, and shuddering because somewhere we've read about some real-life group that has said something along similar lines.
Pure humor and characterization are not the only areas this film excels in. The locations bring about the entire premise of the film. Three separate locations, normally extensive in their way of working together are brought down by the lack of communication. Ripper cuts off all communication to and from the base. Mandrake must overcome this to get the recall codes to the President. The President can not reach the base without force, and he cannot talk to the bombers without the code. Finally, after all but one of the bombers has been called back, the mechanical failure caused by the Russian counter attacks take out the communication receiver on the bomber. The pilots on board can only assume they are to continue en route to the bombing. Which they do at the same moment Strangelove is reassuring the President that computers are better equipped than mere mortals to make the difficult decision of who goes into the mine shafts and who stays behind.
Even the lighting brought a feeling of realism into the absurdity. The secret of lighting in the film was basically, to not light it. Photo-floods were used in any actual on camera lamps. The bomber was lit where it would normally be lit from in a real one. Only Dr. Strangelove and General Ripper were given mood lighting. Ripper lit from underneath showed you a man who has sunken into disarray. Dr. Strangelove was typically lit from the side, not that you really notice when you're laughing at everything he says. Strangelove is isolated in close-up and medium shots, enveloped by darkness and patterns of light from the Big Board; at first, he is separated from the rational processes of the table, only to be sought out like an alter ego once madness breaks through the illusions of formal order.
While the narrative logic of Strangelove may indicate that the world goes up in mushroom clouds because of one general's madness or as a result of sexual malfunctions, it's thematic texture says that there is more, in fact, its sexual allusion is only one of several conceptual levels that are interconnected and hold the fictional world together. So essential is communication for modern diplomacy and warfare that when it breaks down it is quite literally the end of the world.
Bibliography
Bateson, Gregory, Steps to an Ecology of Mind: A Revolutionary Approach to Man's Understanding of Himself, New York: Ballentine books, 1972
Ciment, Michel, Kubrick, New York: Holt, Rinehart and WInston, 1980
De Vries, Daniel, The Films of Stanley Kubrick, Grand Rapids,MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1973
Kolkowicz, Roman, The Logic of Nuclear Terror, Boston: Allen & Unwin, 1987
Lenz, Millicent, Nuclear Age Literature For Youth, Chicago: American Library Association, 1990
Nelson, Thomas, Kubrick: Inside a Film Artist's Maze, Bloomington, Indiana University Press, 1982
Walker, Alexander, Stanley Kubrick Directs, New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, Inc, 1971
Watson, Peter, War On The Mind: The Military Users and Abuses of Psychology, New York:, Basic Books, Inc. 1978
Wednesday, December 02, 1998
A Simple Question
Dan Boujoulian
COM 215 A
2 December, 1998
A Simple Question
ìJ.D., You donít even know what youíre asking me.î I stood there, watching my best friend in tears. Again, I find myself in the same age-old situation.
ìIím not a teenager, okay? I have a child on the way, not that I expect you to understand what that means. I donít smoke anymore. I donít drink anymore. I donít trip on acid anymore. I DEFINITELY donít do what you just asked of me. Can you understand that?î What does it matter. Heís not going to listen to the words I am saying.
J.D. just stared at him for a few seconds. ìI understand you said you would be there for anything and when it comes down to it, you reply ëno.íî
ìYou asked if you could spend a week here, youíve been here five months. You asked if I would stand up at your wedding, in fucking Honduras of all places. I took two weeks off of work. You asked if I would cover your ass last time something like this came up, and I cleaned up your name. Once again, you could walk the streets again without checking around corners and alleys before you walk by. I thought you grew up. I was wrong.î
ìTyrone, I swear this will be the last time.î
ìYou donít get it. I am never doing that again, J.D., okay?î
ìFine. Just have your black suit ready to wear at my funeral.î
He turned and left. Good fucking riddance. I canít believe he actually expected me to crack. I am the manipulator, me, not him. He does what I want, nobody tells me what to do.
ìIím going out.î I went for the door.
ìWhere ya going?î Angie asked in that sweet voice.
ìI donít know. Somewhere I can think.î I tried not to slam the door as I left, but the breeze must have caught it. Damnit, now sheís going to think Iím pissed at her. I should turn around and walk right back in. No. Iíve got to take care of this. One way or another I will figure out a way to clear his name without any bloodshed. I took a walk deeper into the city. Walking by the theatre just as people were getting out, a huge mob surrounded me. People noticing how cold it is outside. People grabbing for keys long before they reach the car. Couples seizing the opportunity to nuzzle closer to one another. Children, straining to put on mittens and reach for mommyís hand. I stopped walking. I turned to face them all. Laughing. Talking. Shouting. Crying. Running. It was so beautiful to just observe it all. What is it about people that I love? Sometimes I feel like there is no hate in the world, when I just sit and watch families walk by. Then Iíll see a brother bop a sister on the head and remember, that yes, there will always be those who fight for no reason.
After the slew of positive energy had walked past me, I was still standing there on the sidewalk with a dopey grin on my face. It was obviously noticeable because after that I was approached by what must have been every bum in a square mile radius.
I eventually ended up at the Coney Island restaurant that I have frequented since before I could walk on my own.
ìHow you doin?,îsaid the waitress.
ìI have too many questions and not enough answers,î I replied.
ìDonít we all.î She nodded in agreement.
She poured me a particularly bland cup of coffee. I should have just gone back home and made my own coffee. I bet sheís still awake. I should at least call. I made my mind up to leave, put my dollar on the counter and took off.
I immediately began to run. I canít tell you when the last time I sprinted, I felt born again. All my anxieties, stresses, fears, they left as my feet hit the ground faster and faster.
I ran up the stairwell through the trees in the park. Looking out at the city from this vantage point I sat down to marvel at the view. My heart was pounding so hard I felt it could burst right there.
Why would he ask me that? It doesnít sit right. He knows better. Saying Iím not there for him, I donít know where he thought he was going with that one. When was the last time I asked anything of HIM? Seventh grade or something. Oh, there was the weekend I borrowed his car so I could take Angie out.
Iíve got a really really good thing going on right now. I canít believe how happy I am. We are so different from each other now. I can remember when we were almost identical to each other in attitude, appearance and outlook on life. How it all changes. Why do I still put up with this egotistical bullshit he puts me through? I love the man, but my god, I wish he would just let off sometimes. Iím not about to go running off on some juvenile adventure at his whim just to settle the score with enemies I havenít even thought about in ten years. Sometimes I wonder if heís my best friend, or psycho ex-girlfriend. Itís a simple question, really. Am I in, or out. He thinks Iím out. I made that so clear. Now Iím not so sure. He wouldnít ask me unless his back was to the wall.
Answer. CímonÖ Answer.
ìHello?î
ìAng.î
ìHi, sweetheart, are you okay?î
ìNot really.î
ìDo you want to talk about it?î Thatís the beauty with her. She will ASK. She doesnít make you tell her shit you donít want to tell.
ìAng. Will you back a bag for me?î
ìIf youíre here for too long, youíll change your mind about what you want to do, is that it?î
She is so me sometimes. My entire thought pattern is completely open to her. She knows I donít want to do this and if Iím around her too long I will change my mind.
ìSweetheart. How ever did you get to know me so well?î
ìI learn a little bit everytime I pick your sorry ass up and put you back on track.î
ìIíll be over at eight. After that Iíll be in a hotel until at least Sunday.î I told her.
ìOkay. Is it allright if Steve spends the week with me, the house is so huge when Iím alone,î she asked.
ìCan you tell him Iím on a business trip or something?î I pleaded.
ìOf course dear, but you better bring me a souvenior from Honduras.î
I was still laughing when I hung up the phone. If only I could figure out my J.D. as easily.
COM 215 A
2 December, 1998
A Simple Question
ìJ.D., You donít even know what youíre asking me.î I stood there, watching my best friend in tears. Again, I find myself in the same age-old situation.
ìIím not a teenager, okay? I have a child on the way, not that I expect you to understand what that means. I donít smoke anymore. I donít drink anymore. I donít trip on acid anymore. I DEFINITELY donít do what you just asked of me. Can you understand that?î What does it matter. Heís not going to listen to the words I am saying.
J.D. just stared at him for a few seconds. ìI understand you said you would be there for anything and when it comes down to it, you reply ëno.íî
ìYou asked if you could spend a week here, youíve been here five months. You asked if I would stand up at your wedding, in fucking Honduras of all places. I took two weeks off of work. You asked if I would cover your ass last time something like this came up, and I cleaned up your name. Once again, you could walk the streets again without checking around corners and alleys before you walk by. I thought you grew up. I was wrong.î
ìTyrone, I swear this will be the last time.î
ìYou donít get it. I am never doing that again, J.D., okay?î
ìFine. Just have your black suit ready to wear at my funeral.î
He turned and left. Good fucking riddance. I canít believe he actually expected me to crack. I am the manipulator, me, not him. He does what I want, nobody tells me what to do.
ìIím going out.î I went for the door.
ìWhere ya going?î Angie asked in that sweet voice.
ìI donít know. Somewhere I can think.î I tried not to slam the door as I left, but the breeze must have caught it. Damnit, now sheís going to think Iím pissed at her. I should turn around and walk right back in. No. Iíve got to take care of this. One way or another I will figure out a way to clear his name without any bloodshed. I took a walk deeper into the city. Walking by the theatre just as people were getting out, a huge mob surrounded me. People noticing how cold it is outside. People grabbing for keys long before they reach the car. Couples seizing the opportunity to nuzzle closer to one another. Children, straining to put on mittens and reach for mommyís hand. I stopped walking. I turned to face them all. Laughing. Talking. Shouting. Crying. Running. It was so beautiful to just observe it all. What is it about people that I love? Sometimes I feel like there is no hate in the world, when I just sit and watch families walk by. Then Iíll see a brother bop a sister on the head and remember, that yes, there will always be those who fight for no reason.
After the slew of positive energy had walked past me, I was still standing there on the sidewalk with a dopey grin on my face. It was obviously noticeable because after that I was approached by what must have been every bum in a square mile radius.
I eventually ended up at the Coney Island restaurant that I have frequented since before I could walk on my own.
ìHow you doin?,îsaid the waitress.
ìI have too many questions and not enough answers,î I replied.
ìDonít we all.î She nodded in agreement.
She poured me a particularly bland cup of coffee. I should have just gone back home and made my own coffee. I bet sheís still awake. I should at least call. I made my mind up to leave, put my dollar on the counter and took off.
I immediately began to run. I canít tell you when the last time I sprinted, I felt born again. All my anxieties, stresses, fears, they left as my feet hit the ground faster and faster.
I ran up the stairwell through the trees in the park. Looking out at the city from this vantage point I sat down to marvel at the view. My heart was pounding so hard I felt it could burst right there.
Why would he ask me that? It doesnít sit right. He knows better. Saying Iím not there for him, I donít know where he thought he was going with that one. When was the last time I asked anything of HIM? Seventh grade or something. Oh, there was the weekend I borrowed his car so I could take Angie out.
Iíve got a really really good thing going on right now. I canít believe how happy I am. We are so different from each other now. I can remember when we were almost identical to each other in attitude, appearance and outlook on life. How it all changes. Why do I still put up with this egotistical bullshit he puts me through? I love the man, but my god, I wish he would just let off sometimes. Iím not about to go running off on some juvenile adventure at his whim just to settle the score with enemies I havenít even thought about in ten years. Sometimes I wonder if heís my best friend, or psycho ex-girlfriend. Itís a simple question, really. Am I in, or out. He thinks Iím out. I made that so clear. Now Iím not so sure. He wouldnít ask me unless his back was to the wall.
Answer. CímonÖ Answer.
ìHello?î
ìAng.î
ìHi, sweetheart, are you okay?î
ìNot really.î
ìDo you want to talk about it?î Thatís the beauty with her. She will ASK. She doesnít make you tell her shit you donít want to tell.
ìAng. Will you back a bag for me?î
ìIf youíre here for too long, youíll change your mind about what you want to do, is that it?î
She is so me sometimes. My entire thought pattern is completely open to her. She knows I donít want to do this and if Iím around her too long I will change my mind.
ìSweetheart. How ever did you get to know me so well?î
ìI learn a little bit everytime I pick your sorry ass up and put you back on track.î
ìIíll be over at eight. After that Iíll be in a hotel until at least Sunday.î I told her.
ìOkay. Is it allright if Steve spends the week with me, the house is so huge when Iím alone,î she asked.
ìCan you tell him Iím on a business trip or something?î I pleaded.
ìOf course dear, but you better bring me a souvenior from Honduras.î
I was still laughing when I hung up the phone. If only I could figure out my J.D. as easily.
